Love Advice for spiritual women

For all spiritual women who want great love:

Girl, my advice to you is to keep dancing, keep chanting, raise your vibe, your voice and keep doing your beautiful backbends and poses to open your heart. 

BUT KNOW THE BASICS IN LOVE. THEN BE THEM! Without those, the rest, is nice…but kind of useless or more so… absolutely UNSUSTAINABLE in romantic situations.  They will not support you in having the love life you are really craving deep in the depths of your heart.


you need to be able to attract a man in a very VISCERAL EARTHY WAY.

I see a lot of women who are very attuned to the spiritual side in them.  You seem to like me as a love coach and inspiration… so i’m going to give it to you straight and (heartfelt) so you can have the love life you desire. and deserve.

These are a few of the main similarities I’ve seen between you gorgeous girls.  I want to highlight your areas of strengths that you’ve got going on and which can work for you in love and show you where your potential challenge areas are.  You’ll be able to walk away from this article knowing how to turn this around.  And therefore receive WAY MORE LOVE/attract REALLY GOOD GUYS.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship already or are seeking love.  These tips will drastically improve both areas.

Edmund Leighton "My Next Door Neighbor" 19th c.

Edmund Leighton “My Next Door Neighbor” 19th c.

Number 1:  A tendency to treat romantic relationships the same as other relationships

The Spiritual Women I know, love and strive to be Good people.

Strength:  You are kind. You love to love and you have a big heart.  You can’t help but give sometimes because it feels so good. You simply want to be good to others.

Challenge:  This behavior often results in OVERGIVING to the man.
It works with a girlfriend/friends/family because there doesn’t need to be any romantic attraction between the two of you.  But it doesn’t work in romantic love.
The more you give to a man, the more the natural balance between the two of you gets sidetracked. Then you notice, that he doesn’t give as much. He doesn’t call as much, or want to be as close. He pulls away.  That’s because your giving is giving him less to do.  and a man wants to do the job of giving you love. 

Instead use your strengths of a great capacity to love…to love you. That big heart of yours needs a lot of love to be filled up! This means your capacity to receive is TREMENDOUS actually. Focus on letting your heart be filled instead of giving so much.  Men really want to to give to you.  If it’s hard for you to receive, ask yourself… “Why”


Always check and see, “WHY” you want to do something for a man…before you do it.  Women, more than men, tend to give in order to show their value.  When it really needs to be the other way around.
"Acrasia" by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century

“Acrasia” by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century

Number 2:  You are COMPASSIONATE. You see the good in others. 

Strength:  It’s amazing that you are full of compassion and VERY helpful in love because you can use that immense talent to not attack a man, but simply accept him as he is. This is where so much relationship trouble begins!!! And you can avoid it ALL! You can also use this compassion to be nicer to yourself if you make a mistake in love. Which we all do from time to time.  Mistakes are allowed. And people (men included) forgive you a lot more easily when they feel you have forgiven yourself. 

Challenge: Compassion does not mean excusing bad behavior. It doesn’t mean giving the man the benefit of the doubt all the time. And it certainly doesn’t mean you shrink from saying something because he “had a bad day or that’s “stuff from his dad coming up”.  This is actually doormat behavior.  And many of the gentlest, purest hearts have suffered in this position only to receive far less than what their hearts need in love.

For me, boundaries need to be made and open hearted talks need to be had.  The only caveat i do have here in the situation is not to fix. This includes giving advice too.  If a man is telling you about stuff from his dad coming up…listen.  that’s all you need to do. You don’t need to offer to do anything. You may be very spiritually aware and see completely what is going on (much more than he does) but trust your man is man enough to have his own experience and prosper because of it. Trust that he can move through it and trust that you could even inspire him to grow or heal just because you are you and he is with such a bright, light filled, love filled, magical woman.  You don’t need to do a thing.

6yLSfU1428252297Number 3:  Not using one of the most important factors in romantic love!

You understand the importance of feeling good, you work hard on keeping your vibe high, thinking good thoughts.

Strength –  You are often VERY aware of the feelings you feel.  Use that awareness to go to the next level. Feel your feelings.  It’s not the same as being aware of it. It’s different. It’s deeper. But what this does is ALLOW YOU TO EMBODY YOUR FEMININITY BRILLIANTLY. literally and figuratively.

Challenge – Very often, spiritual women do not allow themselves to feel the full spectrum of their feelings. What i see are women who are afraid of their own feelings and thoughts.  They’re terrified of feeling a strong feeling like anger, anxiety, because they don’t want it to manifest.  I really get that.  the secret is… that the fastest way to let go of a feeling is to feel it.  then it leaves.  no manifesting.  It manifests when we hold on to it and keep focusing on it. Do you see the difference?

My challenge for you: Take one feeling today and learn to love and accept it more.
It’s so much more pleasant to be an emotional person when you love your feelings.  And your feelings as ARE INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO A MAN. It makes them fall in love…

DSC_4796At the end of the day, Men remember our hearts. and the bright feminine energy we have inside ourselves.  This stays strong when we’re not giving too much, when we’re accepting of ourselves and others and feel all those juicy feelings inside of us.  Your feminine energy illuminates!
There’s so much more i could say here, I may do a whole training on this! (hint hint!) But for now,  I leave you with this.

 The Spiritual women who hang out at Birth of Venus Coaching often confess to me ‘that they feel they have to be at a certain growth point before they can have a relationship. OR get to a certain point in a relationship.

That’s not true.  You can attract a man or have a great relationship at ANY TIME.

That’s because romantic love is not based in spirituality.

It’s based on the heart.


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