When he gets you something you really, REALLY don’t like

HE’S LOOKIN522bec420687cdd447ce40757353e15aG AT YOU EXCITEDLY.  YOU OPEN THE BOX SQUIRMING A LITTLE WITH DELIGHT AND SUSPENSE!…OOO WHAT IS IT? 
“I love this man” you think, as you open the box”AND HE GAVE ME!…. WHAT?  OH THIS IS terrible.
WHAT DO I SAY? WHAT DO I DO?

AWKWARD.

And has happened to every single woman I know…including myself.

A couple of weeks ago I received an urgent message from one of my best friends.  For their privacy I will call them Jasmine and Aladdin.

Wanted to ask your professional opinion about men and their gift giving. Aladdin bought me a diamond bracelet for my 30th birthday. While it is pretty it is not necessarily my taste. Do I learn to love it and just wear it or do I tell him I would rather pick something else out as he had said he would be willing to do. I don’t want to upset him.

You can see so many emotions come up for her…And so much does come up for us especially as women when we are gifted something we simply don’t like…
  • We feel guilty because we don’t like it but know that it’s from someone who loves us. And someone who wants to please us.
  • We feel disappointed… because clearly it’s not what we wanted.
  • We feel confused and uncomfortable…because we don’t know how to react. “Should I just be honest and say I don’t like this? or do I just cover up my disappointment with a smile and say thanks!”
  • We feel upset because so much of the excitement we were feeling is now no longer there
  • We even feel angry because we don’t want to feel all these yucky feeling things and on such a nice occasion.
It’s hard to receive something you don’t like. 
Imagine someone putting a handful of your least favorite food into your hands… eww… mushrooms…

And with so much being said these days about the importance of being authentic…it gets even worse!

Here’s what I want you to remember.  And here is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH:
EVERY GIFT A MAN GIVES YOU IS A TOKEN OF HIS LOVE.
so that EVERYTIME
  • you look at this gift.
  • wear it
  • use it
  • pass by it
  • talk about it
You look at it as and only as your man’s love for you.
If this were a necklace, isn’t it romantic thinking that your man’s love is hanging around your neck everytime you wear it?
If this were a toaster, isn’t it really sweet imagining your man’s love heating up your toast in the morning…
I’d say so…whew…
If this were an ipod, isn’t it awesome knowing that your man’s love is pumping out your favorite songs?
Do not worry about learning to love it…that sounds like hard work…
Just visualize his love…
The first birthday I celebrated with my King was glorious.  Every single package was something I loved… And it felt so amazing.  I thanked him so deeply from my heart. He could see my joy. And it was real.
However, there have been other times and I chuckle a little thinking about them, where what he gave me was definitely not something I would have gone for.
but I love them now because he gave them to me. This is really about the act.  It touches me so much knowing his heart, his mind and his energy went into this decision to purchase this, and that alone is telling.
48a442f72feca31549dd915a903d1c5fRemember:
MEN LOVE TO GIVE.
MEN LOVE TO PLEASE.
So Here’s what I said to Jasmine (and here is what I say to all of you):
You have two choices.

1. You look at this necklace fully as a symbol of Aladdin’s/or your man’s love for you. His dedication to you, his pride in calling you his, and from a man’s point of view his joy in giving you something.

 

 

Knowing this, doesn’t it make the bracelet much more easy to love?
OR if that is too much for you to bear, say this. *
* and this is only applicable IF he offers to get you something you like more!
2. “Aladdin,/my love… I love that you gave this to me and I treasure the meaning behind it. Thank you so much.
I would love to say yes to your offer and go with you to choose something that fits me just right. The meaning will be the same and I can’t wait to wear it all the time.”
I wrote Jasmine the other night to get permission to tell her story and I got an update from her! Would you like to hear how this story ends???
She wrote me: The thing is I love the necklace now because of what it symbolizes and because my man picked it out especially for me.
And they lived happily ever after…
I know you can too…even after getting a gift you don’t like.  Because now you’re handling this like a Modern Day Venus.
Love!!!
Amanda
p.s. Let me know how this works for you!
p.p.s. A little snipet of my own relationship to illustrate just HOW SIGNIFICANT gift giving is to men as a token of love:
My man and I met on December 11.  We had NO idea when we’d see each other next YET he bought me a Christmas present.  This was VITAL to him. And telling to me of his feelings and of the love that he already wanted to give me.
<3

photo credits:

Man outside door with Tiffany Box’ – pinterest via prettystuff.tumblr.com
‘Winter presents’ – Merry Christmas! by loretoidas on Flickr

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