What is he thinking about?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of speaking with a young woman who wanted to attract a man into her life.  When I asked her most what she wanted from our time together,  she said,

“You know what I really want to know? I want to know what men think about me!“.

I felt stunned – here was this  SMART, SWEET, GORGEOUS, woman – completely focused on what a man thinks about her!

My guess is she is not the only woman who has this question and I want to answer this post for her and for ANY woman out there who feels the same way.

What about you?

Have you ever wondered what men think about?

Have you ever wondered if a man is thinking about you? And what he is thinking about you?

Or when you’re on the phone and he suddenly goes silent…

When you’re with him and he looks away and stares into the distance…

Do you start pondering, analyzing, anxiously figuring out what’s going on in his mind?

I know I have….

I used to spend SO MUCH TIME analyzing men’s minds. Desperately working out what they might be thinking and thinking about me…

And I’m here to tell you it got me NO WHERE! except running like a dog in circles chasing its tail…almost to the point where I felt dizzy because i was so confused and overwhelmed by scores of theories and hypotheses.

I still have my moments but they have become much fewer and farther between with these three steps.  So the next time you find yourself wondering what a man is thinking about go here instead!:

1. Know the facts

It’s true that most men are mental creatures. They feel comfortable and at home in their minds. They go there to work, to find their words and communicate, to assess situations, fix problems and find solutions. They also think about a myriad of topics, to name a few… their own worries and concerns, not to mention philosophy, ideals, sports, sex and us wonderful womanly creatures. How could they resist? 😉

2. Drop down and Get Real

Be honest with yourself here:

Are you curious about what he is thinking? or are you really anxious?

Take a minute to feel into that.

Are you scared that he is thinking about another woman?  Are you scared that he thinks you are unattractive or needy or boring? Are you scared that he is rethinking your relationship? or worse – thinking about leaving you?

Yea, those thoughts would make me feel scared too!

And the thing is: maybe you would feel more secure if you knew what he was thinking about. Maybe you would feel happier and relaxed knowing he was thinking about you. Maybe you would have an easier time pleasing him.

But then all of your security and happiness and sense of ease is totally dependent on what a man thinks!

Eww!  Is this the kind of relationship you want?

Is this the way you want to be spending your time and energy as a living, breathing, beautiful woman?

All of the time and energy you are spending wondering and trying to figure out a man’s thoughts actually pushes him away!

So to change that up and inspire him to start thinking about you and wanting to be near you, I invite you to focus on something else instead –


And how YOU feel when you are with this man.

This will give him the space to come toward you.  And you’ll never have to guess again what he is thinking because it will be perfectly clear!

Now take this one step further and

2. Start trusting yourself.

Instead of worrying about what he is thinking about…

Trust that you are a woman a man can open up to.

That you don’t need to know what a man is thinking about, because YOU ARE a woman a man naturally opens up to.  You are a woman with whom a man CAN’T WAIT to share his thoughts!

Trust that he will share the important stuff with you.

And trust that if he wants to tell you what he is thinking, HE WILL!

Sealed with a kiss,




If you are just curious – well great! Curiosity is a great trait to have!

And here’s something you might be curious about –  Researchers say we have a staggering 60,000 thoughts a day!!!

That means you have thousands of your OWN thoughts everyday.

So what if you turned that curious energy toward your own thoughts? And started noticing which thoughts make you feel good and just completely on top of the world!

Now notice which ones make you feel not so good, terrible even, wanting to run away and hide or lash out and lean forward toward him.

Then! And this is where it gets really fun – get curious EVEN MORE and start imagining what your life could be like if you chose and tolerated only the thoughts that made you feel FANTASTIC!

Something to think about… 😉

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