I can’t get no satisifaction!

When you don’t feel satisfied in a relationship, it’s frustrating!

I’ve felt this at many times in my life and in love. I hear it from women I work with and my dearest beloved friends!

So what’s fascinated me really recently is watching the tv show, “The Bachelor“.  I know this show is incredibly popular with some…and incredibly NOT with others… Let’s leave those opinions aside for a second to talk about what IS really valuable for women.  And women in love. Because this is what is most important to me and here at Birth of Venus Coaching.

Whether you agree with “The Bachelor”‘s premise or not, I will tell you something. This show is VERY valuable for women to watch.  It is a phenomenal showing of how we as women approach dating and relationships.  It spotlights some of THE most common patterns women fall into, BEAUTIFULLY.

It shows what we ‘do’ to get a man’s attention, how we ‘try’ to get a man to fall in love’, and MOST WORTHY for us…how we can bring men closer or push them VERY, very far away. (Translation: No rose)

Watching this show is actually like having a seminar on women and love.
I have an added advantage of being a relationship coach too. And as I’ve been watching the bachelor, I’ve been making mental notes and jotting things down that I find most important for myself and other women to know.

And really grasp about relationships.  men. love.

Here’s one list I compiled to help you feel less frustration and more satisfaction in your love life.

COMMON MISUNDERSTANDINGS IN LOVE

1.  DRAMA IS NOT EXCITEMENT
But we can get hooked on both…
Drama is not an emotion.  And it’s not anything more than a sometimes very dressed up, very compelling, acting out of feelings. We enjoy it because it entertains us. IT DOES NOT MAKE US FEEL GOOD and IT DOES NOT MAKE MEN FALL IN LOVE. the opposite. It turns men way way off.

When it comes to relationships, think of your feeling your feelings as the bigger the better, not drama.

2. Depth is not heavy
Heaviness comes from a resistance to our feelings. It also comes from any judgements we have on our feelings/beliefs, as well as our fear of what others will think because of it.

Depth is depth. It is deep within the heart.  We need to access this within ourselves so men can get in there too.

3. Lightness is not shallow
love is fun!  when we laugh, when we smile… we make instant connections with men. the more the better… even the bigger the better ;-)))

Lightness also implies ease. And men like ease just as much as we, modern day Venuses do.

the bigger the better ;-)))

4. When you feel bad you do not have to make it ok.
I have seen many women do this on the show and in real life. If something happened that you don’t like, you do not need to make it ‘ok’.  Often we make things ok, by rationalizing, reasoning or even trying fix a situation.

For example, one girl received a rose from the bachelor. Two other girls sat beside her obviously very upset. One said “well, it’s ok because it went to a girl I liked

NO! when we do this, we step out of ourselves and turn the attention away from what is really going on. This helps distracts us from uncomfortable feelings. But it’s a form of protection and defense and blocks us from love.

5. Kissing and physical intimacy is NOT necessarily a marker of emotional intimacy or love.
Sorry girls. A great physical attraction is just that.  Men do not marry women…OR even fall in love with women for the sole fact that the sex/physical chemistry is amazing.

If you are trying to hook a man in through sex, it will probably lead to more sex. but not much else.  This is where a lot of unnecessary heartbreak comes in…

6. Looking out for a man and protecting him is GREAT… if you want to be his friend.

and only his friend.   What this makes you is a great, loyal pal and friend, he respects and trusts. but NOT THE WOMAN he would protect and look out for with every breathe of his being. His one and ONLY.

Men want a woman who supports him. And there is a way to support and care about a man in a very feminine, very attractive way. But more on this for a later time…

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

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