How Men Apologize

thompson-meeting_on_the_turret_stairs_-_1864-1

Sir Frederic William Burton “Meeting on the Turret Stairs” 1864

Reading this article will GREATLY cut down on the resentment, anger and hurt feelings that arise when men don’t say those two important words to us,…

“I’m sorry”.

Tense moments arise in almost every single relationship. It happens.  There are moments when something is said or done that catches us off guard. That hurts our soft hearts.

Often times, all we need is an apology. And then we can move on.

But when we don’t hear it, we get even more frustrated, upset and resentment starts to bloom like the spring flowers all around us now.

The other night this happened to me.

My man said something to me that just totally caught me by surprise.  It felt awful.  After a few moments of silence, to feel my heart and to steady myself, I told him how I was feeling. No apology followed.  And if you’ve ever been in this situation as a woman, you can imagine how I was feeling. super pissed and super hurt.

I left the room to take a bath.

A minute later, not even, my man came to me, slippers in hand. “I turned up the heat so that you feel warm and cozy getting out of the bath and I wanted you to have something nice to put your feet in after too” He stood there waiting for me the whole time I got ready for my bath, as if he was my trusted footman, at the ready for my command.  I knew in that moment I could have asked for anything and he would have given it to me.

That’s when it occurred to me, this man is saying, “I’m sorry”.

And sitting in the tub, I suddenly got it.

Men are doing people.  They act.  In relationships, they serve.  It is their nature to do something to apologize instead of ‘SAY” something.

In their minds, if they are men, (and they are being a good man for you) they will prove to you that they are sorry. Not just say it.

This is how the masculine works. And The best way that they can say “I’m sorry” is through ACTION.

They will do something to SHOW you, just how apologetic they are.

Here is where it gets interesting.

Isn’t it fascinating that we as women love when men SHOW us they loves us?

e.g. buying us flowers, jewelery, taking us out, surprising us, romancing us, being there for us…

And yet we have become so insistent hearing those two words…I’m sorry.

When really, if you look closely, men are trying to please you all the time. And if they haven’t pleased you, they are trying to show you how sorry they are that they didn’t please you.

They are ALSO putting in an effort to do more for you in that moment to impress upon you that they do want to be there for you.  They are trying to show you their value.  They are showing in that moment that they want to be a good man for you.

Let them show you.

The tricky part is in the moment, when you feel hurt, or bad by whatever has just happened. I get that. But be the woman who can love herself in that moment and see a man for who he really is. And what he’s deeply wanting to communicate to you through his actions.

If you REALLY need to hear the words “I’m sorry”, tell him honestly and openly.  I’ve done this before at least on a few occasions with great success. (most likely, he will say those words you are needing to hear) But also be open to seeing how much this man IS trying to make it up to you with his actions.  Because when he does this, he is showing you that he is a man WORTHY to do the job of loving you and keeping you happy.

 

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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