Be the woman he NEVER wants to leave

I love how the phrase “I’ll be Walkawayin touch” means I’ll contact you, we’ll communicate…Somehow human contact has so many meanings and it’s incredible how communication actually touches us, viscerally and even deeper… in our hearts.

That’s why when someone stops ‘being in touch’, when contact suddenly stops, it feels devastating to us; because that human touch that we so deeply need in all its forms and crave on a deep deep level…is gone.  It’s just vanished.  And you feel alone, very alone.

This is abandonment.

It’s real. It’s terrifying.  And it’s happened to all of us.

I am no stranger to abandonment. I experienced this painfully when I was 8 and my best friend at the time decided she didn’t want to play with me anymore. In fact, she didn’t want to be my friend at all.

But most of all I experienced it when I was a very little girl lying in bed, missing my daddy and wanting him to be home with us. And when my father died years later, suddenly all the contact, all the communication was gone.  He was gone.

Nor I will forget one rainy evening two months later, when my first love told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was in shock. The two most important men in my life were gone within two months of each other.

I felt abandoned and alone.  I was 19.

I’m sure if you let yourself right now, you’d come up with memories or maybe events you are experiencing now where abandonment has deeply affected you.  Where you felt abandoned…where you still feel abandoned.

And I’m sure if you let yourself feel how that feels you’d most likely agree that that feeling is gut wrenching and completely horrible.

No wonder we are terrified it will happen.  That someone we love will leave us.

In fact, this fear is at the core of many relationships struggles and conflicts. And it is so powerful that it can tear a relationship completely apart.

Over and over again, I see this as one of the core issues that stop women from really letting a man inside, and from having an incredible and lasting relationship.

What I’ve learned about abandonment –  is that this very fear takes us away from ourselves and our worth.

Normally when a woman I’m working with is scared of something, I ask her to look at herself. For example if she is feels scared she is not enough, I ask her to feel into what part of HERSELF she thinks is not enough.  Yet with abandonment this is one of the most challenging fears and actions to turn around on ourselves, because at first, second and 100th glance, we aren’t abandoning ourselves!

What are you talking about?  I’m right here!

But on a very very deep level, we have left ourselves so many times –

We are so worried about a person leaving, we don’t realize our worrying, our anxiousness, our chasing, is really an abandonment of ourselves. It’s abandonment of the belief that we ARE worth a man.

The belief that we ARE worth men being devoted to us, wanting to be with us – even yearning to be with us in the most romantic way forever.

We ARE WORTH HUMAN CONTACT. That human touch.  We are worth it.

I had to go deep to get to this place. I had to move through a lot of pain and scary dark stuff. But I’d rather move through it
than have it run me. And somehow deep down inside I knew that if I wanted love; the kind of deep closeness and romance and passion and ecstatic, boundless happiness I wanted with a man,

I had stop abandoning ME.

If I wanted that feeling of safety that comes from absolute trust and relaxation that I am loved,

I had stop abandoning ME.

Abandonment or rather the fear of it, is actually only letting us go halfway in relationships – when we want all of it! Right? Love and the whole package –  commitment, fun!, great sex, safety, the freedom to be completely yourself and be loved, etc…

Ladies, let me tell you something.  You and I, we are WORTH being loved. We are worth far more than fearing abandonment.  We deserve more than that.

We are bigger than our fears. And if we want to have a great relationship, if we want a relationship to last and thrive we have to work with them and through them.

If in your life, men have abandoned you many times and in many ways before. If you feel you are ready to stop being left in your relationship,  I’m have 11 open spots of private coaching available and starting Monday (the 24th) I’m open and excited for a chat with you! Just write me at [email protected] to set up your appointment or book your appt. here:   https://birthofvenuscoaching.com/getstarted/

This  30 minute free session will be personalized support in assisting you through this fear and in becoming a woman a man NEVER wants to leave.

You were always meant to be one.

Love,

Amanda

p.s. If you or any other woman you know has been touched by abandonment, please, share this article.

 

 

 

 

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