Love Advice for spiritual women

For all spiritual women who want great love:

Girl, my advice to you is to keep dancing, keep chanting, raise your vibe, your voice and keep doing your beautiful backbends and poses to open your heart. 

BUT KNOW THE BASICS IN LOVE. THEN BE THEM! Without those, the rest, is nice…but kind of useless or more so… absolutely UNSUSTAINABLE in romantic situations.  They will not support you in having the love life you are really craving deep in the depths of your heart.

WHY?

ROMANTIC LOVE IS EARTHY.
you need to be able to attract a man in a very VISCERAL EARTHY WAY.

I see a lot of women who are very attuned to the spiritual side in them.  You seem to like me as a love coach and inspiration… so i’m going to give it to you straight and (heartfelt) so you can have the love life you desire. and deserve.

These are a few of the main similarities I’ve seen between you gorgeous girls.  I want to highlight your areas of strengths that you’ve got going on and which can work for you in love and show you where your potential challenge areas are.  You’ll be able to walk away from this article knowing how to turn this around.  And therefore receive WAY MORE LOVE/attract REALLY GOOD GUYS.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship already or are seeking love.  These tips will drastically improve both areas.

Edmund Leighton "My Next Door Neighbor" 19th c.

Edmund Leighton “My Next Door Neighbor” 19th c.

Number 1:  A tendency to treat romantic relationships the same as other relationships

The Spiritual Women I know, love and strive to be Good people.

Strength:  You are kind. You love to love and you have a big heart.  You can’t help but give sometimes because it feels so good. You simply want to be good to others.

Challenge:  This behavior often results in OVERGIVING to the man.
It works with a girlfriend/friends/family because there doesn’t need to be any romantic attraction between the two of you.  But it doesn’t work in romantic love.
The more you give to a man, the more the natural balance between the two of you gets sidetracked. Then you notice, that he doesn’t give as much. He doesn’t call as much, or want to be as close. He pulls away.  That’s because your giving is giving him less to do.  and a man wants to do the job of giving you love. 

Instead use your strengths of a great capacity to love…to love you. That big heart of yours needs a lot of love to be filled up! This means your capacity to receive is TREMENDOUS actually. Focus on letting your heart be filled instead of giving so much.  Men really want to to give to you.  If it’s hard for you to receive, ask yourself… “Why”

AND

Always check and see, “WHY” you want to do something for a man…before you do it.  Women, more than men, tend to give in order to show their value.  When it really needs to be the other way around.
"Acrasia" by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century

“Acrasia” by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century


Number 2:  You are COMPASSIONATE. You see the good in others. 

Strength:  It’s amazing that you are full of compassion and VERY helpful in love because you can use that immense talent to not attack a man, but simply accept him as he is. This is where so much relationship trouble begins!!! And you can avoid it ALL! You can also use this compassion to be nicer to yourself if you make a mistake in love. Which we all do from time to time.  Mistakes are allowed. And people (men included) forgive you a lot more easily when they feel you have forgiven yourself. 

Challenge: Compassion does not mean excusing bad behavior. It doesn’t mean giving the man the benefit of the doubt all the time. And it certainly doesn’t mean you shrink from saying something because he “had a bad day or that’s “stuff from his dad coming up”.  This is actually doormat behavior.  And many of the gentlest, purest hearts have suffered in this position only to receive far less than what their hearts need in love.

For me, boundaries need to be made and open hearted talks need to be had.  The only caveat i do have here in the situation is not to fix. This includes giving advice too.  If a man is telling you about stuff from his dad coming up…listen.  that’s all you need to do. You don’t need to offer to do anything. You may be very spiritually aware and see completely what is going on (much more than he does) but trust your man is man enough to have his own experience and prosper because of it. Trust that he can move through it and trust that you could even inspire him to grow or heal just because you are you and he is with such a bright, light filled, love filled, magical woman.  You don’t need to do a thing.

6yLSfU1428252297Number 3:  Not using one of the most important factors in romantic love!

You understand the importance of feeling good, you work hard on keeping your vibe high, thinking good thoughts.

Strength –  You are often VERY aware of the feelings you feel.  Use that awareness to go to the next level. Feel your feelings.  It’s not the same as being aware of it. It’s different. It’s deeper. But what this does is ALLOW YOU TO EMBODY YOUR FEMININITY BRILLIANTLY. literally and figuratively.

Challenge – Very often, spiritual women do not allow themselves to feel the full spectrum of their feelings. What i see are women who are afraid of their own feelings and thoughts.  They’re terrified of feeling a strong feeling like anger, anxiety, because they don’t want it to manifest.  I really get that.  the secret is… that the fastest way to let go of a feeling is to feel it.  then it leaves.  no manifesting.  It manifests when we hold on to it and keep focusing on it. Do you see the difference?

My challenge for you: Take one feeling today and learn to love and accept it more.
It’s so much more pleasant to be an emotional person when you love your feelings.  And your feelings as ARE INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE TO A MAN. It makes them fall in love…

DSC_4796At the end of the day, Men remember our hearts. and the bright feminine energy we have inside ourselves.  This stays strong when we’re not giving too much, when we’re accepting of ourselves and others and feel all those juicy feelings inside of us.  Your feminine energy illuminates!
There’s so much more i could say here, I may do a whole training on this! (hint hint!) But for now,  I leave you with this.

 The Spiritual women who hang out at Birth of Venus Coaching often confess to me ‘that they feel they have to be at a certain growth point before they can have a relationship. OR get to a certain point in a relationship.

That’s not true.  You can attract a man or have a great relationship at ANY TIME.

That’s because romantic love is not based in spirituality.

It’s based on the heart.

xo
Amanda

The power of your Eyes

-3The first text my man wrote me  was this: “So nice to meet your eyes…”

It arrived as I was on my train back home to Prague, I knew I felt totally intrigued by him…and I knew I had TOTALLY captured his interest and at least part of his heart, thanks to my eyes…

So One of the first tips i have for women who want to be in a relationship is this!

Use your eyes. 

Your eyes have power.  especially when they make EYE CONTACT.

Eye contact increases:

Intimacy
– Attraction
– Connection
– Trust
– Openness
– Communication
– Interest
– Romance

Most people have a hard time doing this… Don’t give into the urge of looking immediately away. That’s actually protecting yourself instead of opening.

So I’d recommend practicing! If a man looks at you (as long as you don’t feel in danger). Keep eye contact for a few seconds.

Start with one second, work your way up to 5 seconds.
And let me know what happens!

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

 

Are you a woman who compares herself?

There’s NAmandalegacyphotoshoot2O need to compare with other women.

1. You’re INCOMPARABLE
(meaning that your essence and the combination of your gifts/interests/ideas/traits is TOTALLY unique!)

2. But SHE HAS/ THEY HAVE WANT I WANT!

all those awesome traits that you see in a woman/women that make you angry, jealous, shut down…you have in yourself… you just need to bring them out for YOU, (most especially you) and everyone else to see.

3. How I handle those feelings:

My go to is when i see a woman who has or is being something that I really want, I call it inspiration and MOVE ON! I see it as the world actually supporting me by showing me what it is I’d like to be in a VERY tangible way. which makes it easier for me to envision it for MYSELF. (Thanks!)

4. Did you know? Comparing is actually a VERY masculine trait?

I once sat on a tram with a woman who locked eyes with me (which I love!) but then the look evolved into ‘who can look the longest without turning away” I smiled because in the past I would have been in this to win! (Hands up if you’ve ever done this too! ;-))

But it didn’t matter to me. And what she was showing me was NOT the mark of a truly powerful woman, she was actually showing me how masculine she was.

and I know that’s not who I want to be or who I’m here to be.  What about you?

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

11401446_10106127553261065_5806511452795716722_n

“If I have sex to soon will I be seen as EASY?”

“If I have sex to soon will I be seen as EASY?”

This question was asked recently and I think it really important for any woman who is dating or wanting to be in a relationship to read this.

I’ve perused other love and relationship coaches/experts/ and this is an answer that always seems to be answered differently.

WHY? because it’s SO personal! for each and every woman.

Here’s my take on this:

We need to stop associating ‘easy’ with having sex to soon. or that easy means you aren’t valuable (by having sex to soon)

‘Easy’ is about your vibe anyway….and it all comes down to this: (it’s so good, I wish i could highlight this on FB!):

Can you as a woman handle that level of intimacy with a man AND not get caught up by him? (meaning not get too attached to him)

AND still be able to date other men? (I dated other men until my now prince asked me to be his girlfriend.)

If the answer is no, a shaky yes… or “I’m not sure” then you know for YOU. – It most likely wouldn’t be good to have sex too early on.

Not because he’ll see you as too easy, but because you YOU’LL see yourself as too easy. You might worry and stop feeling as confident and relaxed. Or You might also start to feel clingy. None of that is very attractive to a man. And it puts him off.

So The EASY that we actually want to focus on instead is that the time with a man feels easy and feels good!

That’s it’s easy to feel good with him.

If it feels good to let him kiss you, let him…if it feels good to let him do more, great. STOP whenever it starts to feel too much. Have a boundary in place for yourself… ok tops off, let him kiss my breasts and then I’m stopping. for example.

I also recommend knowing BEFOREHAND where you want your limit to be. Having that in place will help you go into a physically intimate situation more relaxed and feel safer (which will lead to better/more pleasurable physical intimacy ANYWAY). I’d also keep the alcohol level wayyy down so you are more aware of yourself and can your hear your intuition more easily.

Also For women in a relationship, if you’ve scrolled down to read this far, nice! I encourage you to read one this! It’s called “My Best Sex Tip” EVER: http://birthofvenuscoaching.com/my-best-sex-tip/

:-*!
AMANDA

Acting out in Love

leaningforwardwoman

Sir Edward Burne Jones “The Tree of Forgiveness”

It’s not just children who throw tantrums.  Adult speak for tantrum is drama.  In romantic relationships, I see adults do this all the time.

Drama according to my belief and the work I do at Birth of Venus Coaching is “Passion with a closed heart”

This doesn’t work for us and often turns men off LARGELY because drama is the acting out of our feelings, instead of cherishing the feeling, admitting the feeling and the feeling of the feeling itself.

Ladies – hint hint! THAT’S where the juice is. That’s where the attraction comes in.

We act out in love due to patterns,  habits we pick up,  and the belief that it is safer and more comfortable to throw a tantrum than to stand there and share how you are feeling.  Isn’t that sad?

Sucks out all the intimacy in a moment where there is tremendous potential for it!

We act out of fear. We act out of embarassment, the feeling of not feeling good enough, the feeling of absolutely feeling completely powerless or looking weak.

And so we try and get back at him.  Get even.  Make him feel miserable.

In order to help you identify how you might be acting out/going to drama, I’ve listed a number of behaviors you might find yourself instinctually go to (without even realizing it) when you get triggered.  or when you are on the receiving end of a man’s poor/obnoxious behavior.

Be aware when you feel yourself being pulled into the following directions:

– want to retaliate and punish him back

  • giving him the silent treatment, making him feel invisible, not acknowledging his presence
  • banging around
  • doing the same thing he just did to you/saying the same thing he just said to you
  • freaking out and GO CRAZY.  yelling, the screaming, the works

– start indulging in behaviors that disrespect him

(Not okay, EVEN IF YOU FEEL UNCHERISHED AND DISRESPECTED YOURSELF)

  • break his stuff, throw out something important, ruin or destroy something, mess something up, go over his boundaries in anyway.
  • intentionally not do something, not say something, or say agree to something and then not do it.
  • Ex. For me, this looked like walking on the carpets with my shoes on and in some way getting off on that because I know this is something really bothers him.

* Note – this can be small or big.  It’s always VERY passive aggressive – like a dog who pees in the house when you leave.

-making false threats or declarations

 ~ I’m never going to talk to you again.
~ I’m ending this!
~ If you ever do this again, you’re outta here!
~ Get out of my face!
~ Leave me alone.
~ You are ruining my life.
~ I hate you. (truth is you probably don’t like him at the moment but you don’t hate him.)

making life with you impossible

  • choosing every opportunity to castigate or criticize pretty much everything he does or says.

yikes!

I get it we are trying to show a man that what he did is not ok, but none of this is the real you.

Where is your heart here?

Our true power as a women lies in great part with our ability to feel and to be felt.  Some call this vulnerability, I call this touchability.

In every situation, comfortable or not, a a man needs able to touch you, really touch your heart. And by this I mean he needs to be able to feel you. – through your words, your movements, your body language, your gestures.

When we go to drama, our hearts just snap down, they shut off.

And if our hearts are closed off and shut down…the answer is NO. He cannot feel us. He can’t even have an opportunity to understand you or make the situation better.

Drama aka adult relationship tantrums is perhaps the strongest reason why men have developed a ‘reputation’ for not liking our feelings or wanting to deal with them.  Are you able to see why?  Drama has been a way for us to cope with our hurt feelings. In some way it makes us feel powerful in a moment where we feel utterly wretched. destroyed. heart stomped on.

We get to take our focus off of the horrible stuff that’s going on inside of us and focus on making him pay.

We focus on getting even.

We want to ‘give it to him’, make him see that he can’t take advantage of us. That we aren’t that kind of woman. And he won’t forget it.

But It’s all a false bravado.  And it all just pushes him further and further away from you.

From understanding you. From loving you.

NOTICE HOW THERE’S NOTHING ABOUT LOVE IN HERE.  Nothing about YOU.

When you’re hurt – EVERY bit of your energy needs to be focused on you and helping you feel better, taking care of yourself,  gently stroking your bruised heart, loving it up and fully! Part of that includes being able to stay open so that YOU can express your feelings in way he can hear.

When he does something – stop yourself and ask “Ok, how am I feeling?

Your feelings are a guide to your authentic truth about whatever’s just happened. as well as a complex reaction to your own perceptions and long held beliefs about men and love.  None of these are excuses to shut down.  Nothing is.

We ARE MADE UP OF LOVE. WE ARE LOVE AS WOMEN. That is who we are.

NO ONE AND NOTHING CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU.

And Remember – openheartedness is essential to our health as women in love.

When we close it, we shut off a man’s access to it.

AS WELL AS OUR OWN.

Our hearts become isolated.  We become more and more touchy, oversensitive, looking for ways to defend ourselves.  In the attempt to protect ourselves, we shut down more.  We end up blocking a man’s love, even unintentionally and  WORSE we block our OWN love even from coming toward us. Which means we are cutting ourselves off from the truest depths of who we are.

that is NO WAY FOR A WOMAN TO FEEL. EVER.

so Instead of acting out, GO ALL IN.

Begin to catch yourself, it will probably take at a few tries. And then simply Ask yourself “How am I feeling here?”

Then go inside of you, your heart. and be there with it, in it’s moment of feeling sad and distraught. Love you.

So that he can do that same with you. and your relationship.

because my belief is that he wants to.

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

My best sex tip:

gyKurdZrlQmLw4DbvjEgr8OqlFnclGXAV-C2Qltl42k,qruaqq6c7zs72pUMeiUzrS0xDF3s824WOZY207AkjRAAnd I’m starting out with it! I’m not in the mood to write half an article leading up to this and I don’t want you to have to wait half an article to get to the point either! i know what you girls like 😉 results NOW!

It does get much much more interesting though 😉 so keep reading.

My best sex tip:

Have sex ONLY when you want to.

We want men to like us. (I actually can’t think of a time when I didn’t want boys to like me. Good old W.W. in kindergarten, or my parents’ opera singer friend E. two of my first crushes)  This desire for us often gets triggered when we’re in the middle of sex and don’t feel like continuing.

or when we just don’t feel like having sex and he does… yikes.

or when he’s doing something that doesn’t feel quite comfortable or good to us.

Has this ever happened to you?

Guilt comes up for wanting to stop. We feel bad.

And then often comes fear. with all the scary thoughts.

  • Will he be angry at me? That’s a big one.
  • What will he think? Am I not giving him what he needs? Isn’t this one of his primary urges? Am I cutting him off from that?
  • or thoughts like this:  Does he think I don’t like him? or that he’s not doing a good job? or that he’s bad in bed? Will he think I’m cold and frigid?
  • and the most heart wrenching of all: If I don’t, will he leave?  will he go away?  Maybe even find someone else?

Often these thoughts and feelings overwhelm us so much, they COMPLETELY take us out of the moment and into our heads. our fears.

Then we don’t know what to say to a man, because there is so much going inside that we unintentionally push him away by snapping or getting distant. Cold. Quiet. Cut off.

How do we tell a man we don’t want to have sex with him? turn him down. That is scary for a lot of us!

(and p.s. i know many women are scared to turn down a man for a date! let alone sex with your beloved)

Until I started to take real care of myself and treating myself with the respect I require from a man, this conversation would have been hard.

And really, if we’re honest we feel upset with ourselves too – like what happened a minute ago?  I felt so into it!   I wanted to have sex? what’s up with me? (what’s wrong with me?)

Often we feel so crappy with ourselves that we end up pushing a man away and getting super cold and distant ourselves!

We HAVE  to stop in this moment. Otherwise resentment starts to build. For him and for you. Even worse. Because deep down, we know we need to listen to the part of us that says “Stop.” That says, “darlin’, something is off.”

And if we are really in tune with ourselves…and yet keep going, we don’t feel good after. We feel pretty rotten. I know I HAVE.

Self betrayal is THE WORST. And it has made me feel like anything but a prize.  and much less of a woman.

So Check in with yourself before you say anything. What is really going on. How are you feeling?

Remember you MUST take care of you first. Trust your feelings. trust your body. If it doesn’t want to have sex.  feel that.

Is it because it needs to rest, because it would prefer something else? maybe just to be held? to talk? to tell him about that thing that’s been turning you off? (please do so in a way he can hear and respond to you…if you need help let me know)

So Stick to this guideline.

It is super easy and super simple.

Have sex ONLY when you want to. FOR as long as you want to.  And IN THE WAY YOU WANT TO.

Then you can stay authentic and totally cravable to him…even if you’re not having sex. And you’ll feel good because you stayed true to you.

Men will see you as more of a prize because you are listening to your heart and focused on you (one of the key fundamentals of femininity). And what does a man want to do especially during sex? to please you!

What does he want after sex? to please you!

How can he please you if your don’t show him the real you!

And certainly how can he please if you don’t communicate what’s going on for you?

I promise you World War 3 will not start…

Saying yes to having sex when you don’t want to, and pretty much doing anything you don’t want to, is just another form of people pleasing. Trying to please a man. Putting what you think his needs are before yours. Going inside of his head to feel things out instead of staying in your body, your heart.  That won’t get you anywhere in love. No where except backwards.

I’ve had women write me telling me that they want to be sex goddesses.  Well, look at the second word of that. GODDESS. To me this is a woman who is so so into herself, so in charge of herself, so loving of herself that NO ONE I mean NO ONE comes 😉 before she does. I just made a joke, I hope you giggled.  In all honesty, goddesshood is achieved with the power that lies inside you. The worth. The self esteem. No true sex goddess is without those.

Without the word goddess, sex is just sex. And that is NOT what men are looking for.  They’re looking to make love to the goddess inside of that beautiful body. Because she deserves to be worshipped. to feel good. And she deserves all the love in the world.

How our periods make us more attractive in love

The first time I got my period with my now man

everything was new.

new bed. new love.

a friend of mine told me her boyfriend hated when she wore pads to bed,  another of one my friends said that every time her period came around, she and her man got into a fight. like clockwork. every month.

yikes. neither one of those sounded particularly romantic and this was a new romantic relationship. oh shit.

Somehow with my last boyfriend, I never had my period and saw him at the same time…it just seemed to work out that way.

In addition, up until that time, almost everything seen on television and the media made it seem like periods were often the brunt of jokes and badly timed one liners from men; ‘honey, is it that time of the month again?  or ‘geez, you must be on your period’.

It made me feel that periods were a thing that created distance between partners.

That scared me. I was feeling worried that this would create distance with us too. Create distance with something so wonderful that had just started.

So remembering all of this as I stood washing my hands in the bathroom, I started my walk into the bedroom feeling slightly ashamed that just one day after being physically intimate with this man, I was now bleeding, bloated and crampy.

That night I got into bed, not naked, as I had the night before but cozy in a big t-shirt…feeling strange that this man that I had just started being intimate with, I now had my period with.

He told me later that I sort of apologized for having it.

I probably did. I was so uncomfortable. There was some shame and something that felt private to me, now exposed so soon.

That was the beginning. Luckily, it gets better.

I thank my lucky stars that I AM a relationship coach.  Which means not only do I know what works; I am also a passionate student of subjects like love and attraction. I quench myself on what it means to be magnetic, vulnerable, and feminine and I get to refine my skills as a woman in love day in and day out.

I am constantly and super vulnerable with my man and with you.  I mean, How often do we read articles about relationships and periods? I have seen NONE.  but I want to be. Because this is what I want to share with you here.

Our periods are incredible for relationships.  It gives us the opportunity  EVERY MONTH to go deeper inside ourselves and to go deeper emotionally with our men.

Let’s talk about how.

I’ll be sharing with you how our monthly cycles can help us be more attractive.  How they can help us grow our relationships.  And I’ll be sharing with you what happens during my own monthly cycle and how this looks for me so you can begin to implement this in your own life. and your own cycle with your man.

1. Periods give us the chance to work stuff out.

Periods are so interesting in romantic relationships because they bring up a lot of our stuff.

We often feel moody, crampy, tired, exhausted,

Then there’s also the feelings of feeling dirty, gross, unattractive, big, blah…. none of which are typically characteristics that we hear make us irresistible to men… right, the opposite really.

Well, our periods give us the chance to be ok with these feelings. Feeling accepted and loved for who we are is one of our greatest desires as women.  What if we could give that to ourselves first. Don’t you think that a man would follow suit?

The emotions that come up during our periods. are not one we associate we lightness. or ease.

they are dark.  they are not ones people would feel proud to admit feeling or being.  they are not very popular on the goddess movement…but they are SO REAL. they are SO human.  At the end of the day a man wants to feel like he can relate to you.  That he’ll be accepted by you.  There is nothing that makes a man feel safer than a woman who can feel dirty, gross, big and blahh, and be totally ok with it.  That’s a signal that he can be ok with those dark, very human parts of himself too.

2. Our periods give us the chance to be deeper, richer feminine women.

We need to rest more. relax more. we slow down. Actually we become very sensual because we are focused on our bodies and the sensations we feel.

When I tell my man I need to rest during my period, often he will come over to me, take my hand, lead me to the bedroom and lie down with me as I rest in his arms. I let go.

 3. Our periods give us the chance to open our hearts.

We grow more sensitive…easily emotionally touched.

And what is it that men want?  They want a woman who can feel her feelings.  really, truly, feel them.

Some fear may come up around this because we’ve been taught otherwise. But it’s simply not true.

He’s been there with me as a I cry tears of whatever needs to flow.

4. Our periods give us the chance to ask for what we want

It’s true. We need some extra TLC during our periods.  Ask for it.  It’s ok that you need it. Remember one of a man’s greatest drives is to give.  to provide. to serve.  And he wants to do this for his woman too.

I am a woman who loves to be touched and often any pain I feel is greatly alleviated by it.  All I have to do is ask. Or simply tell him that I hurt. He’ll massage the back of my head and neck if I feel tense and strokes my belly when I’m crampy. He’s fetched hot water bottles for me and made me the tea of my choose. all to help make me feel better.

5. Our periods give us the chance to let a man in and love us more deeply.

This is a time to get really into yourself
you know how men are into us? and you are into men?
you get into you.

this is a time for a man to see how much you care about you.  which makes him more into you.

This is a time for you to let him give to you.
kneel down, kiss your belly.  look into your eyes and say “I’m sorry you’re hurting.” or “What can I do for you?”

And for you to say yes…

Having my period,  allowing myself to be ok with that, has allowed me to fall more in love with my man
and to simply let myself be a WOMAN with him.

A real woman.

And a real woman IN LOVE.

 

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

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About Amanda

“Beautiful, soft, vulnerable, goddess of love.” This is Amanda Neill. She has been called this again and again. Amanda always longed for a blissful and timeless love. But there was a time when she had no idea how to deeply attract this, or keep it in her life. Relationships were hard and unsatisfying, even though she knew there were great men out there. Amanda also knew there was great love and a great woman inside of herself. So she set off to discover this and loved what she found within, A Modern Day Venus.

Amanda created Birth of Venus Coaching to help women become this too. That unforgettable, irresistible woman, who men love to love and want to stay with forever. Birth of Venus Coaching helps women undo all of the ways we push men away from us, all of the ways we push love away from us, and instead create passionate attraction and lasting connection. Through her work, women consistently and dramatically feel more confident, sexy, and worthy of a great love, a great man, and an extraordinary relationship. You can find more out about Amanda and her work her: www.birthofvenuscoaching.com

 

Essential Oils for Sensuality, Romance and Love

I listened to her call about summertime essential oils and I was hooked! That’s why I asked Great Braun to be a guest on  Birth of Venus Coaching. This time… to talk about essential oils for love, romance and sensuality.  Greta is a Certified Transformational Nutrition Coach, Mindset Coach and Wellness Advocate for Essential Oils. More about her here. She is doing this love themed interview exclusively as a treat for us here at Birth of Venus Coaching.

And I couldn’t be more excited! especially because she is throwing in samples for us.  yes we all love bonuses. and yes the call is free! So the first 10 women who sign up for the interview with Greta will receive samples of EACH oil that will be discussed on the call.

While those specific oils will remain a surprise (have a pen and paper ready!), here’s what else we’ll be talking about on Tuesday, April 25th:

* What essential oils are

* Why they are so powerful and helpful for us.

*How they can increase and strengthen OUR LOVE LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS.

Found on people.tribe.net

Followed by a spotlight on oils:

*  Which oils help us feel more sensual, grounded and alive in our bodies.

*  Which oils fill us up with love for ourselves and increase our confidence when we are feeling less than.

* Which oils increase our inner strength and open up our hearts for more love.

*  Oils for Beauty

*  Which oils allow us to feel more feminine,sexy and attractive.

*  And which oils invoke romance as well as bring us totally and utterly ‘in the mood’.

Women have been using essential oils for centuries to increase attraction.  Let’s use these to fill our lives with incredible aromas and nurture us inside and out to help us have INCREDIBLE Love lives.

Meet us on Tuesday, August 25th on this interview.

Essential oils for more sensuality, romance and love.”

with Amanda Neill and Greta Braun

10am PST/1 pm EST/6pm UK/7pm Europe

REGISTER HERE:

https://birth-of-venus-coaching.leadpages.co/essential-oil-interview-copy/

And yes, there will be a recording 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Science behind getting asked out

Edmund Leighton "My Next Door Neighbor" 19th c.

Edmund Leighton “My Next Door Neighbor” 19th c.

I had no idea the train would be SO crowded, and then I saw a seat next to the window…

My stomach, which I lovingly call my intuition, said ‘sit there!’  so I promptly ignored the conductor who told me to keep walking for more seats.  After all, it was a window seat, and that’s exactly what I wanted. It’s also exactly how I learned what men need in order to ask us out. You will never look at being asked out the same way again.

Are you ready?

As I approached, all I really noticed was a dark haired man sitting next to it on the aisle. His bag was on the empty seat and he moved it quickly. I smiled, sat down and turned my music on.

We didn’t talk until more people flooded on the train a few stops later. A sweet little boy looking for a seat passed by with his mother. The dark haired man next to me told them, “if you need a place, please sit here.”

“I would give up my seat for anyone who needed one” , he said to me.

I LOVED THAT.

And I told him exactly that.

Which began a really exciting conversation.   It was obvious that this man wanted to ask me out. The difference was, he told me what made him want to do that.  This is what I learned.

1 A man must feel attracted.   The beauty element plays in here.  not only physical beauty (that’s subjective anyway). there’s so much more. how are your eyes shining.  are they alive when you speak?  are you smiling? is your feminine energy turned on? are you turned on? by life?

All of that is SIMPLY STUNNING TO A MAN.

I love the phrase “Happy Girls Are the Prettiest” But don’t fall into the trap that you have to be happy all the time. That is an enormous! amount of pressure to put on yourself. especially you, a beautiful emotional creature with many highs and lows during the day.

A man can tell, regardless of what emotion you are feeling (even if you’re angry, sad, mopey) when you like yourself.  happy with yourself.  And THOSE are the prettiest girls.

2 A man must feel comfortable. By comfortable, he needs to feel safe to approach.  otherwise he will never approach you. even if you look great.

What increases this feeling in him is how relaxed you are. Tension in the body/face and uptightness actually turn men off. It signals to him unconsciously someone who is more ready for attack and fighting than love.

Years ago, many men would look at me but not approach me…and now i get it. I was so tense and so full of anxiety, NOTHING in me was relaxed. It’s interesting that the more relaxed I felt, the more soft I became, the more men approached me and began asking me out.

Another reason to let go…ladies. Let it go!! oh i want to sing that song! 😉

3 A man must plan.   As I was telling the dark haired man what my life was like, his face fell – Right at the moment I spoke about my boyfriend.  He told me that from the moment he saw me – he had been thinking of a way, the perfect way to ask me out. 

And what I appreciate about him, is that he actually told me what was going on in his head!  This is what is so helpful for us to know as women.

He told me that as soon as he saw me,  the first thought he had was how beautiful I was. (Beauty) The second was, I want to come toward her. I want to see her again. I want to ask her out.  (Comfort)

Then:

 How do i talk to her? What do i say? How do i tell her I’d like take her out?  (Plan)

That silence between us for the first half of the train ride, he later told me,  was him, literally working out a way to talk to me, he shared with me.

Therefore the time it takes for a man sometimes to ask you out is normal. My man even shared this with me when we first began dating. A man is using that time to come up with a plan. I think that’s so sexy.  I love when men have plans. In this case he is already using up energy to think of a way to speak to YOU. to ask YOU out.  he is already focused on you, even if he isn’t asking you out at the moment. He is doing this to come up with the BEST way to address you and engaging with you in the process.

4. Everytime a man asks a woman out, he is putting himself on the line. His pride, his desires, his heart are fully out there.  He is setting himself up for victory or rejection.  That’s scary! I know you’ve been there. felt that fear of rejection before.  It often stops you doesn’t it?  But men so often do it – ask us out –  because we as women not only inspire them.  WE ARE WORTH IT. even worth the possible rejection.

We are worth it all – and he will risk it just for the opportunity be close to us, the chance that he might win us and be able to love us, call us, HIS GIRL. or as my guy says “My misses”

He’s putting himself on the line for you.  just to see you again.

I think that takes balls.  Great courage. A ton of respect and great care for you.

And that totally turns me on as a woman. What about you?

 

Sealed with a kiss,

Amanda

ps. the more available you become for love, the better the ask outs and the better men become.

 

 

 

 

 

Tools to be more feminine

"Acrasia" by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century

“Acrasia” by John Melhuish Strudwick, 19th century

You’ve heard them before.  many times, in all probability.

Be Grounded! Relax! Think Positive!

If you’re like me, sometimes that inspires you!

And Sometimes when you’re not feeling great, it does the opposite. Annoys you.  Makes you even want to shut down.

What helps me in these moments is when I tell myself WHY it’s so important for me to be grounded, positive and relaxed….as a woman in love.

And as a a woman who desires an incredible love life.

When we have these “Why’s” down, it’s easier for us to stay open and look forward to grounding, relaxing and thinking positive. And you’ll see you love life (and men!) respond in fantastic ways.

so Amanda, modern day Venus, remind me why I am doing this again? Sure!

1. Why  grounding is so important —

it’s VERY important to be feminine and stay in that zone while with a man…Luckily for us as women, we have access to a whole well of feminine energy 24/7!

the ground! The earth is the largest, most powerful source of feminine energy and it is beneath us all the time.

In love, when we are more grounded, we feel safer, more secure and more authentic.  Men feel an inner strength inside of us, which makes them feel safe and secure. as well as very attracted. In addition, the more grounded we are, the more feminine energy our bodies run on.

Many tools I employ in my work and even invent for my client’s own personal needs and personalities involves grounding –   remember, the ground is full of feminine energy so anytime we need to reboot our own, feel more nurtured and cared for, all we have to do is connect to the earth.

Get outside, get your hands in the dirt (it feels fantastic) or hug a tree.  Our supply is literally ENDLESS.

Once walking in a garden, I felt an urge to go wrap my arms around a giant tree in front of me.  And as I did, I felt a rush of love. Total security. trust. groundedness. When I couldn’t squeeze any longer, I pulled back and  saw the initials of my man’s first name and mine etched inside a heart on the tree…. Right where I happened to hug it.  awww!!!!

But Pretty, miraculous stories aside 😉 I’m not going to lie either. This is something I struggled with for ages!  no matter what rituals I tried, or what stones i held, or how much red I wore, I didn’t feel grounded. either that or I couldn’t sustain it for any length of time.  So when people told me just to ground myself, I wanted to grab some soil  (literally Earth 😉 hahaha) in my hands and throw at them!

One thing that has really helped me is a story an intuitive told me.  During a reading a few years ago, she  saw me in a past life as a knight dashing through a field riding a horse.  I was met there by a man/fellow knight who thought I had betrayed him as well as the entire side we were fighting for and cut off my head in rage.

Whether I did or not, and whether I believe the fullness of that story or not, now I gently remind my head that it’s connected to my body. and vice versa. I give kisses to my neck and thank it for being so awesome. These little gestures, have done wonders for my grounding.

It also explains why I felt terrified of anyone touching my neck as a little girl…even though there was no rational explanation of it. And that’s ok!  that’s how i felt.

Often too, I’ve felt frustrated when I ‘couldn’t do’ something or was very slow at it.  I see grounding as one of these things and that’s ok.  It’s part of getting to know ourselves and love ourselves all the more…

Let’s pick up on Relaxing next time.  For now practice grounding. Remind yourself why it’s important for a great love life. For a great woman like you. And Stroke your feet. Tell them they are connected to the earth. It can soak up all of the feminine energy it wants.  And gently remind your head, it’s connected to your body. Whether or not you were decapitated in a past life, it will help you ground more for sure in this one  😉

Love,

Amanda

 

 


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